Chunky Filas suggested to boost Women’s Verticals by 250%

When women hoop with Filas

We’ve seen them everywhere. In line at trader Joes, at the movies, at school and at your local Duane Reade. I am talking about the FILA Disruptor IIs. Also commonly known in the streets as “Chunky Filas.” White chunky FILAs are a staple in women’s fashion especially in the 16-24 age range. Now we already know they’re fashionable and even add several inches to a female’s height but we didn’t ever ask why women are buying these shoes. FILA, one of the more recognizable sneaker brands has gotten its foot wet in the women’s hoops industry -well, not intentionally but you know what I mean. 

What if we told you that women were actually purchasing these shoes not because they look “cool” or because they’re just as heavy as they look… women buy these shoes because they can jump higher. By 250% actually. We here at table-side talks tried a row of the FILA Disruptor IIs. Not only do they offer a sole with impeccable cushion, there’s also a cushion in every jump. Each jump we tried in these bad boys had us leaping to the ceiling. In fact, my girlfriend, not your typical FILA fan, got stuck on the roof after taking one hop. It’s safe to say that these have never actually been used on the hardwood and for good reason. They’re an instant cheat code and for a reasonable price too; an absolute steal at $54.99. Move over Britney Griner, say hi to you next worst enemy, any baller with a pair of Disruptor IIs. 

I hope that after reading this, you do not encourage owners of the legendary Chunky FILAs to start jumping in these. We believe they need some wear & tear before the spring mechanics (located in the heel) are activated. We also believe that this vertical improvement can be found only in certain shoes. Consider it a verification process. Unlike fake yeezys where you can tell they don’t look like the real ones that Kanye stitched by hand, the FILA Disruptor IIs in fact, all look the same. So it can be very tricky to figure out which ones are the Great Value brands and the others as your ideal trampoline shoes – a spring in every step, which should be FILA’s new slogan. Hire me @FILA.

Please understand that this experiment has been done on a micro level, cannot confirm all FILAs offer this guarantee. I emailed FILA several weeks ago but still no response… so I can obviously tell they’re denying it. Shame on them. Anyways, next time you see the female versions of your typical New Balance 624s, aka the Disruptor IIs, don’t tell the woman wearing them, “jump!”

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